Many kids experience periods of rebelliousness, and many parents suffer from it.
The first period of rebelliousness is when little kids reject to do what parents have told them to do , an obstinate attitude.
It's also called the " no, no " age.
It's the age they say no to everything.
The second period of rebelliousness is often the teenage years and it is more difficult because kids have already grown older and learned many things from their environment.
They sometimes feel down and depressed and their attitude becomes defiant and aggressive and sometimes even violence to family members or others.
Why do the periods of rebelliousness occur ?
It's an important period of preparation to be independent, and wake up time to grow up and be one's self.
Depending on the kid, it's different.
Some kids become very aggressive , some kids become just a little bit rebellious.
But if kids don't express their periods of rebelliousness , parents need to be careful.
Because periods of rebelliousness are the times that kids start to express their opinions.
These periods of rebelliousness appear, so that kids are able to say their opinions.
During this time, kids are trying to show their own opinions and express openly what they want, showing that they have their own strong will.
If there are kids who don't have ( didn't have ) their periods of rebelliousness, kids may become grown-ups who don't know how to express their opinions and may have weak will.
So, in order to have a kid who is independent and have a will of their own and express their opinions , it's good to have some periods of rebelliousness.
However, there are exceptions,
* If kids and parents 's views and opinions happen to match with each other, the kid won't feel the need to be rebellious, and there would be no point to it.
* If parents are listening and understanding kid's view and opinions,
For these kind of situations, it's no problem, and it's normal and fine.
Why are there kids who are not independent, and can not express their opinions and have weak will ?
Most of the cases, it's considered that the cause is their parents.
Parents choose everything (or most of the things ) about kid's life path and are not letting their kid to have opinions.
and kids just follows their parents with whatever is happening in their life without thinking.
and when kids grow up, there are many occasions where they will need to tell their opinions by themselves.
To have kids be independent, parents need to have their kid sometimes to think about their life , for themselves and what they want.
and if the kid starts to go in wrong direction, then parents can guide and give them a good advice.
By doing that, kids can have the mind of independence and can express their opinions in every occasion in their life.
So it is important to have an environment where kids can easily express their opinions.
In case of going out to society, it's a problem if he(she) cannot say their opinions. so it's necessary to have the kid to have their will, what they want.
Also, there is a case, when parents choose everything in their kid's life path, their kids may be afraid to tell their opinion, so as to be a good kid for their parents.
Kids are sometimes hiding their will in their heart and try to act like a kid who the parents like and try to take action which fulfills parent's expectation.
But when kids are under too much pressure and stress from their parents, this kind of situation can be dangerous after these kids grow up and may have big problems.
I sometimes saw crime news about young people who attacked their parents or their family members.
And it was sometimes made by people who were considered as good impression kids/person who are quiet, polite and kind to others.
I was wondering why suddenly they turned to be such a person ?
what was wrong with them ?
They lost their mind balance by not being themselves.
They had to ignore listening to what their soul or heart wants.
So parents have to pay attention for what their kids really want and listen to them in order for their kids to feel accepted for who they are.
What is the best thing to do when kids get the periods of rebelliousness ?
First, just listen to what the kid wants.
If your kids say right thing ( in your view ) , just accept it honestly.
If your kids says wrong thing ( in your view ) , listen, and have a good discussion calmly.
Not always grown-ups opinions are right, so it's important to listen to what kids really want and kid's opinions.
It often happens in life, that parents and kids have different views of life, and different opinions.